Rules For The Museum
by Just Four Misfits
Summary: There surely has to be more than one set of rules. Here are the other hundred. 'Don't let Laa near the vending machine. It will end in tears.' ( written from the pov of Stella. My OC )
1. Rule 1-10

_Rules For The Museum of Things That Come Alive_

As written by Stella and (sometimes) Larry Daley.

Rule # 1: When the fire alarm goes off never do or say the following

'Nobody panic! No animal or exhibit panic! Just follow these simple instructions …. _Crap _where did I put them!?'

'I never said they would never find a way to set fire to the museum, I recall saying … _that it would take them longer_.'

'Anyone know how to turn this thing off?'

'Once again, finding a virgin to sacrific,'

**(**not sure how a virgin would stop the fire alarm. But Jed was really adamant about this one.**)**

**(**We get up to all kinds of antics.**)**

**(**Teddy and Sacagawea are amazed we all haven't been killed yet.**)**

**(**I sort of amazed myself…**)**

Rule # 2: Never question Attila's anger issues

**(**It is very random and will pop out of nowhere.**)**

**(**Considering he's a hun. It shouldn't be _that_ surprising.**)**

**(**and he has been known to have learned some rather _bad_ english.**)**

**(**I'm not even joking.**)**

**(**He was just talking to Larry, with Teddy there, when suddenly he twitched and yelled out obscenities.**)**

**(**Teddy was slightly alarmed.**)**

Rule # 3: Never strap fire extinguishers to your back while wearing roller blades.

**(**sure you get around the museum much faster.**)**

**(**but according to Sacagawea, it's 'unsafe'.**)**

**(**but man, it was so much fun.**)**

**(**The look on Teddy's face when the Neanderthals and the Greeks went zooming by.**)**

Rule # 4: Never favour _any_ of the animals.

**(**the rest will find out about it.**)**

**(**and start to glare at you.**)**

**(**I never even knew lions _could _glare.**)**

Rule # 5: Never say the following, just because you can.

'Your hoagie is molesting my boob. Please move it.'

**(**I've never seen Octavius run so fast.**)**

'Whoa! I like the way you said that. BOOM!'

'He's so boring! He doesn't get mad when I poke him!'

**(**No it's true. Just keep poking Ahkmenrah.**)**

**(**Sure his left eye will start to twitching a little. But other than that. Nothing.**)**

'I bet there's a gnome living up there. He waits in the confinements of her hair during the day until she starts poking it with pizza crust and feeds him!'

**(**Lawrence making fun of my messy hairdo.**)**

'NOTHING I JUST FEEL LIKE HOLDING MY EYE AND SCREAMING!'

**(**Teddy, bless his artifical soul, asked me what was wrong.**)**

**(**The friggin' Anubis guards have extremely pointy staffs.**)**

'It jiggles!'

'I called your nephew gay and he hit me with his purse!'

**(**Making fun of Nick's 'messenger bag' is bad.**)**

Rule # 6: Never take shopping trolley from various stores

**(**so far the museum has ones from Target, Sport's Authority, Safeway, Albertsons, America's version of Big W.**)**

**(**Although the day staff get extremely confused when there's a bunch of shopping trolleys in every room.**)**

**(**especially the Egyptian exhibit.**)**

Rule # 7: In fact never take _any _of the exhibits out.

**(**it's a mess to get them into normal clothes.**)**

**(**especially Ahkmenrah.**)**

**(**My god who ever knew Pharaohs can be so picky.**)**

Rule # 8: Never ask what accent Ahk has

**(**His usual response is, 'I don't have a bloody accent!'**)**

**(**My response was, 'Then what was that?'**)**

**(**He replied that he had been hanging out with me too much.**)**

**(**Liar.**)**

Rule # 8: Never start quoting 'The Big Bang Theory'

**(**not my fault I started a marathon every Wednesday & Thursday night.**)**

'You have about as much chance of going out with _any_ girl in your senior class, Nick as the Hubble Telescope has of finding that at the center of each black hole there's a little man with a flashlight trying to find the circuit breaker.'

'I'm not insane! My mother had me tested!'

'Hello Oompa Loomps of Sciences!'

**(**I enjoy my time at over at the Smithasonian.**)**

'They were not my friends, they were imaginary colleagues.'

**(**Right Tilly likes to talk to her 'colleagues.'**)**

'I thought it was a pretty good one. I have him a 'LOL'

**(**Octavius has found his new favourite word.**)**

**(**If it can be considered a word.**)**

'But everyone loves LOLcats. They're cute and they can't spell, because they're cats.'

**(**Jed didn't understand Attila's disinterest for said cats.**) **

'Photographic memory is a misnomer. The correct term is eidetic memory, as I've told you countless times, like on May 7th during lunch. You complained your turkey was dry.'

**(**Larry was surprised that I remembered that.**)**

'Is the sex starting now?'

**(**I never feel bad for tormenting Teddy.**)**

'To this day, I can't look at pickled herring without being a little aroused and ashamand.'

**(**I worry for Jed's health.**)**

'Oh, and one more thing. If you use my tooth brush, I will jump out that window.'

**(**Jeez Rebecca is scary when she can be.**)**

**(**This was her response when I told her I would be 'sleeping over' at the museum for more than one night.**)**

**(**I'm not even surprised that she has a little room set up next to the break room.**) **

Rule # 9: When anyone of the few non-exhibits have sunburn, don't decide to announce it to all the others by slapping the victim on the back.

**(**I'm terrible for doing that.**)**

**(**poor Tilly never saw me coming.**)**

**(**She didn't speak to me for a week.**)**

Rule # 10: Never say the following. Just because you _feel _like it. (part 2)

'I may have schizophrenia but at least I still have each other.'

**(**that didn't go over well with Sacagawea.**)**

'If at first you don't succeed…destroy the evidence that you even tried.'

**(**My life motto.**)**

'I used to have an open mind but my brain kept falling out.'

**(**poor Teddy, he looked so worried.**)**

'Follow your dreams … except the ones when you're at school in your underwear.'

**(**Thanks for the advice Nick.**)**

**(**I asked what he meant by that.**)**

**(**He didn't say.**)**

**Well … I guess this is what I was doing instead of writing chapter three.**

***LAUGHS loudly* I promise I will have a new chapter out soon, I went and saw the movie again the other day and I have a pretty good idea what I want to do **** But in the mean time I hope you don't mind me carrying on my tradition of writing these kinds of stories.**

**Most of these rules **_**don't **_**belong to me. They have been written by Tatyana Witwicky ( who has these written for Transformers. And it's the best )**

**So uh … send me in your OWN rules if you want and I will see you in the next chapter!**

**~ JFM ~**


	2. Rule 10-30

_A hundred Rules For The Museum of Things That Come Alive_

As written by Stella and (sometimes) Larry Daley.

Rule # 11: No letting off fireworks in_side _the museum.

**(**4th of July is always hell at the museum.**)**

**(**Especially considering one of the American Presidents roam the halls.**)**

Rule # 12: Quotes from Jimmy Neutron, be it the show or movie are not good to say randomly.

'I must've made a tiny miscalculation.'

**(**if by tiny you meant huge explosion which sent you flying at a hundred metres out of the science area and land upside down against the wall, then yeah…just a tiny miscalculation.**)**

'You heard the man, stop sucking your thumbs and let's light this candle!'

**(**Teddy now has new ways of saying things**.)**

'Y'know, Milwaukee has very clean restrooms.'

**(**Ahkmenrah said that randomly.**)**

**(**Larry was just staring.**)**

**(**Jed and I just about pissed ourselves laughing.**)**

Rule # 13: Never start quoting _Invader Zim_

**(**Good god, I love that show.**)**

'Tell me the story about giant pigs!'

'No, I –Wait…what do eyes have to do with breathing?'

**(**The Easter Island head has _a _slight issue with how we work.**)**

'What's wrong with you? All you talk about is aliens and ghosts and seeing Big Foot in your garage!'

**(**I swear, Tilly is so paranoid.**)**

**(**She made that statement better when she replied, 'He was using the belt sander..'**)**

'All I wanted was to have some pizza, hang out with Laa, and not let your weirdness mess up my night!'

**(**Once again, me yelling at Jed and Oct…sometimes Lancelot..**)**

'Hi floor! Make me a sandwhich!'

**(**Ahk keeps questioning my sense of humour…**)**

'But I need tacos! I need them or I will explode. That happens to me sometimes…'

**(**Ahhh new exhibits.**)**

**(**I got sooo many tacos that day!**)**

'Why was there BACON IN THE SOAP!'

**(**I enjoy yelling that at random intervals.**)**

'That was my squeezing arm. They took my squeezing arm! WHY MY SQUEEZING ARM!? ARRGGGHH'

**(**Teddy…we can make you a new one.**)**

**(**'IT'S NOT THE SAME!**)**

'You expect me to pay to ride this filthy machine? Have you the brain worms!'

**(**So Kahmunrah visited for the … Week.**)**

'I want to congratulate you, Dexter, on a job well done. You have been a most convincing friend, but now that the world seems satisfied with my knack for companionship, I don't think I'll be requiring your services any longer. Our mission together is done, [salutes briefly] good job soldier, be gone with you,'

**(**I have[n't] been hanging out with Teddy too much.**)**

'Germs, chewing on my squeedly-spooch. Not my squeedly-spooch you don't!'

**(**Ahkmenrah has a nack for not remembering organs.**)**

'For longer than I can remember, I've been looking for someone like you. Someone with a head like yours and a torso too. Birds sing AND YOU'RE GONNA PAY! The end! HERE'S SOME MEAT COVERED IN BARBECUE SAUCE! [pulls a giant slab of ribs covered in bbq sauce and throws it at Ahk who screams]

Rule # 14: Octodad is banned

**(**I can understand why**)**

**(**I introduced the game to Nick who in turn introduced it to Ahk, who then went and showed the others.**)**

**(**It's banned because it isn't about the fun anymore. Oh no.**)**

**(**All there is now is … Yelling.**)**

Rule # 15: For the love of god, T_ruth and Dare _has also been banned.

**(**It was mostly dare**)**

**(**And dare was … horryifying.**)**

Rule # 16: We are no longer allowed to have a Horror Themed exhibit

**(**So obviously the day crew thought it would be amazing to have an exhibit filled with the best horror characters.**)**

**(**Yeah not for us. The NIGHT crew and the other exhibits.**)**

**(**I swear, Freddy had a slightly … _strange _look in his eye.**)**

**(**and Hannibal…_let_'s not go there.**)**

Rule # 17: Never ask Ahkmenrah about his brother or his death.

**(**He seems to have a perminate twitch in his left eye.**)**

**(**Then he'll turn and walk the other way.**)**

**(**While muttering something in Egyptian under his breath.**)**

**(**I am pretty sure it was a curse. Stupid Pharaoh.**)**

Rule # 18: Never stand too close to any of the exhibits before they wake up.

**(**Serioulsy don't do it.**)**

**(**Some have a mild panic attacks**.)**

**(**They like there personal space.**)**

Rule # 19: No head licking

**(**Still not quite sure what Laa was thinking.**)**

**(**He and Larry were just standing there, when all of a sudden, Laa grabbed Larry by the face and started licking his hair.**)**

**(**Everyone present were a little … surprised.**)**

**(**Larry's girly little. 'Eeeeww gross..' hand motions nearly had me crying.**)**

Rule # 20: No learning a language for the sole purpose of arguing.

**(**I learnt a little bit of Egyptain.**)**

**(**So now Ahk and I can argue and no one will know what we're arguing about.**)**

**(**Or you know … _talk _about other people behind their back.**)**

**(**Then Larry and I took it upon ourself to learn French.**)**

**(**It's fun yelling across the museum in a language no understands.**)**

Rule # 21: "I'm too sad to walk."

**(**"Get up".**)(**Larry.**)**

**(**You tried Jed you tried.**)**

Rule # 22: "This morning I put Red Bull into my coffee maker instead of coffeee and now I can see noises."

**(**That line is better said with dementated facial features.**)**

**(**Sacagewea has now been monitoring my caffiene intake**)**

**(**Larry isn't arguing…**)**

Rule # 23: Never attempt the cinnamon challenge

**(**Larry and I tried it one night.**)**

**(**Apprently, according to Teddy and Ahk that it looked like we couldn't breathe.**)**

**(**We didn't stop coughing for about ten minutes.**)**

Rule # 24: Also…Nick shouldn't even _manage _to attempt to do the California challenge.

**(**Which is when you have the person breathe in over and over again while pressing on their heart. If you do it right, said person will have a seizure and pass out.**)**

**(**Don't ask.**)**

**(**We all thought Nick was dead.**)**

**(**Poor Larry was having his own seizure.**)**

**(**But it's good that Teddy is rather good at waking people up.**)**

Rule # 25: Apprently I am no longer allowed to stick my hand down anyones shirt to warm myself up.

**(**My hands get _really _cold in winter!**)**

**(**When Larry and Teddy caught me sticking my hand down Sacagewea's dress, my line was amazing.**)**

**(**"Let's face it, this isn't the frst time you've caught me down your girlfriend's shirt."**)**

Rule # 26: Morph suits are banned starting immediately.

**(**Jed and Octavius.**)**

**(**How does one even get them _that _small?**)**

Rule # 27: Never quote Eddie Izzard

**(**Welcome to the same sense of humour that run in Australia.**)**

'We throw sticks at dogs, that's the level we have dogs at. You'd never dream of throwing one for a cat. We throw stciks for dogs, and dogs go, "Oh, he's dropped his stick! I better go and get that. Saw you dropped your stick there, thought I'd bring it back. And you – hang on! Did you see me just bring it back? And then you … dropped it again? This is very weird. I don't know what's going on here. Now hang on to it this time, I don't want to piss about all the time. You think I enjoy this? There you…don't fucking throw it!" That's why the third time, when they come back, they won't give it to you. They go "No…I won't let you take it!"

**(**Ahkmenrah was rather … enthused about how dogs work.**)**

**(**Considering he probably worshipped cats all his life**)**

'And in the back, behind there, not giving a damn…and all the bright colours and stuff just drops off when you get to this section. White wrap-up, big red letters; LARD! Eat this shit and die! LARD! Kills you stone dead! Does blood move through your arteries? Block it up with LARD! Nutritional advice? No! Proteins? What the hell are they? Carbohydrates? Never heard of them, Guv! Fat? You bet your bum! We've got some some of that, yes sirree Bob! Oh, we're full of that mate…'

**(**Nick has suddenly started his biology class.**)**

**(**Everyone was slightly scared when he started yelling LARD!**)**

'If you've never seen an elephant in the sky, then you've neer been on acid.'

**(**I was giving the neanderthals life lessons.**)**

'Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down to the gym. Your diary must look odd: 'Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death - lunch - death, death, death, - afternoon tea - death, death, death, - quick shower.'

**(**Kahmunrah's schedule…we all hope.**)**

'We love Shaggy and Scooby because they were cowards! Because we can identify with them. We love them! The other guys driving the van? Fuck off!'

Rule # 28: Never leave the restroom unlocked

**(**A certain someone, namly me, may replace certain things…**)**

**(**Like swapping out the air freshener with an air horn.**)**

**(**Oh that was fun…**)**

**(**I think Larry had a mini heart attack.**)**

**(**"I think I saw the light…'**)**

**(**Teddy gave me a strict talking to about giving family members heart attacks.**)**

**(**He was fighting off a grin the whole time.**)**

Rule # 29: "He's LOOOOSE!"

**(**Will not get you very far when Kahmunrah is at the museum.**)**

**(**He get's _really _offended these days.**)**

**(**"How would _you _like to be stuck inside a box for FOUR WEEKS of every month."**)**

**(**"Well if you **hadn't **have tried to KILL everyone we would let you out more!"**)**

Rule # 30: To go with rule # 16. The exhibits are not allowed to have a horror movie marathon.

**(**My god if the real … _wax _figures weren't enough. They wanted to watch the movies.**)**

**(**To say that there was a lot of screaming the next night is an understatement.**)**

**A/N: Ayyy twenty rules for this update!**

**I wanna thank GalaxyGirl317 & ShinningGalaxy for their ideas! **

**So keep 'em coming!**

**~JFM~**


	3. Rule 31-40

_A hundred Rules For The Museum of Things That Come Alive_

As written by Stella and (sometimes) Larry Daley.

Rule # 31: Quoting Red vs Blue is discouraged.

**(**but lets face it. We haven't followed any one of these rules yet.**)**

'There's a fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line everyday of my life.'

**(**McPhee has decided that this is his new motto.**)**

'Relax, I'm not going to give it a cold. I'm just gonna go in there, step on its neck, and shoot it in the head. Because that's how I roll.'

**(**I worry for some of the Civil War guys**.)**

'From now on if anyone's gonna make my girlfriend cranky and psychotic, it's gonna be me!'

**(**My glare may have made Ahkmenrah avoid me for a whole day.**)**

'He is not pregnant!'

'I will fucking stab you computer phone lady!'

'You're round and you can't wear pants!'

'Goodbye Major Cinnamon Bun, I will always remember your buttery goodness.'

**(**Octavius was saving that cinnamon bun for me, Jed!**)**

'Sometimes I dream about my parents having sex and I get really, really mad for some reason,'

**(**Oh my god, Tilly!**)**

**(**That is so wrong**)**

**(**Nick was even slightly disturbed.**)**

'Your toast has been burned and no amount of scarping will remove the black stuff!'

**(**I was trying to teach a few how to make toast.**)**

**(**It didn't end well.**)**

'SHEILA! COME BACK TO ME! I MADE YOU A MUFFIN!'

**(**I just love saying that randomly.**)**

**(**Teddy had to ask me who this Sheila was.**)**

'Also someone might have been surprised by that and peed his pants…just a little bit…or a lot.'

**(**Lancelot … Just admit that Attila scares you.**)**

'That was you…I thought that the tooth fairy was mad at me…'

'Oh crap, Oh crap, Oh crap, running, running, running!'

**(**Don't piss off the animals.**)**

'Look at what I took credit for finding.'

**(**Jed.**)**

**(**Octavius looked very unhappy.**)**

'Hey, the box is there for a reason. I feel safe in there.'

**(**Me**.)**

**(**and well it was more Ahk's sarcophagus than a box.**)**

'If you had backed up any further you would have had to mail him bullets!'

'Well that's just a matter of penis … I-I mean opinion! Opinion…'

**(**Oh I felt so stupid.**)**

**(**What! I was a little…distracted.**)**

'That sounds like the feral cry of a retarted Mexican sasquatch.'

**(**Rebecca you okay?**)**

'Hey Larry! How you like them apples? And by apples, I mean bullets! In your face! How you like them pears? Guess what I mean by pears?'

**(**Ahk is a sore winner apparently.**)**

'PROTECT ME CONE!'

'I think yelling should be reserved for only the most critical of situations…like when someone drinks the milk out of the carton!'

**(**Larry really hates it when Nick, Tilly, or myself do that.**)**

'And you will fear my laser face!'

'I WILL EAT YOUR UNHAPPINESS!'

**(**Nick may have yelled this at The Thinker.**)**

**(**He may have been slightly intoxicated.**)**

**(**not my fault.**)**

'Not my fault, Jedediah did it.'

**(**This is my answer for anything that goes wrong.**)**

**(**It really doesn't work if Jed isn't even in the same room.**)**

'What're you gonna do, shoot ghost bullets? "Hey I'm Casper the friendly bullet?"'

**(**I don't understand the Civil's interest in getting real bullets?**)**

'It's not pink, it's light-ish-red!'

**(**Yeah, sure Octavius.**)**

'Bad? Oh no, that's not bad! Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn museum?'

'Ow! There goes my last kidney! I was saving that for a special occasion.'

**(**You're kidney isn't even in your body, Ahk.**)**

'Of course he was facing forward, what other way do people face?'

**(**Larry.**)**

'Yeah? Well they say girls can't ejaculate either, but guess what?'

**(**Wow, Sacagwea…that was just truly epic!**)**

**(**Teddy didn't really know how to respond to that.**)**

Rule # 32: Never speak whale to the Blue Whale

**(**Because said Blue will take offence.**)**

**(**Nicholas.**)**

Rule # 33: Paper planes are not safe. Do NOT fly in paper planes.

**(**It was okay when Larry threw Jed and Oct in the first plane.**)**

**(**But then they all wanted a turn on the paper plane trip from the miniature figurine exhibit to the lobby. **)**

**(**Duly note that it did not end well.**)**

**(**Mostly for the Aztecs.**)**

Rule # 34: The marshmallow game is now banned.

**(**I wanted to see if any of the exhibits could do better than my high score.**)**

**(**150 marshmallows.**)**

**(**Granted it is something we shouldn't do when most of the exhibits are in their costumes**.)**

**(**There was a lot of sticky … _stuff _everywhere.**)**

**(**Especially in Sacagewea's hair.**)**

**(**But currently Teddy holds the new record.**)**

Rule # 35: Do not mention Doctor Who around some of the exhibits.

**(**It messes with their head.**)**

**(**Especially with the Neanderthals and the concept of time travel.**)**

**(**Laa all but jumped out of the window.**)**

Rule # 36: The Ice Cream Headache game is now banned as well.

**(**I wanted to see if the wax figures could get headaches.**)**

**(**Apparently, they can.**)**

**(**Then it became a race to see how much ice cream we could eat before death arrives.**)**

Rule # 37: Loom Bands should be removed before sunrise after Larry was asked one morning why Teddy and Attila had charms hanging off of their swords.

**(**Naturally I was blamed.**)**

**(**But all I said was they needed to have some colour in their lives.**)**

Rule # 38: 'I don't want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.'

**(**Ahk.**)**

**(**It was hard to break it to him that he could no longer become a teenager.**)**

**(**He got rather upset about that**.)**

Rule # 39: Stop playing songs over the intercom.

**(**Yeah … this one may be for me…and Ahk.**)**

**(**It's just hard not to.**)**

**(**Especially with how many viral songs there are.**)**

Rule # 40: Ball pits are now banned.

**(**Whoever thought that they were a good idea shouldn't have.**)**

**(**Rebecca.**)**

**(**Columbus had become obsessed and wouldn't leave the pit even when it was almost sunrise.**)**

**(**He would just duck underneath the balls and then pop back up somewhere different yelling 'Bazinga!'**)**

**A/N: Oh my gosh I apologise for being so late with these rules! Just I lost any and all muse for natm. But I watched it again with my mum tonight I hopefully will have a chapter of the main story up sometime next week. Anyway - more rules would be appreciated!**

**Thanks to Oddments and Tweaks and TolkienGirl052**

**Love you all xx**

**~ JFM ~**


	4. Rule 41-50

_A hundred Rules For The Museum of Things That Come Alive_

As written by Stella and (sometimes) Larry Daley.

Rule # 41: Eye staring contest shouldn't be attempted.

**(**It is sad because you will lose.**)**

**(**Also, it will make you cry.**)**

**(**Trust me. I know.**)**

Rule # 42: 'We are separated from America by a common language.'

**(**Good'aye Mate.**)**

**(**'What?' was everyone's only response.**)**

**(**I enjoy tormenting most of the exhibits and my brother with my accent.**)**

**(**'Aw yeah…yeah that's noice…yeah.'**)**

Rule # 43: Ties in with the last rule. I shouldn't quote 'Kath & Kim' for the sake of it.

**(**I tell those who _haven't _seen it. To watch it.**)**

'I like to keep myself trim, Larry. Does it make me a crim to keep myself trim?'

**(**Larry didn't know how to respond.**)**

'You think Ahk is the bee's knees. Well let me tell you, _mum_, bee's knees are hard to live with 24/7!'

'Day facto, night facto…the fact that they're facto-ing at all I find repulsive in the extreme.'

**(**I didn't need to know about Erica and her boyfriend, Larry.**)**

'I'm not a housewife, I'm a hornbag.'

**(**Yeah sorry Ahk. That's just how I role.**)**

'The ozone diet? What does that pacifically entail?

Well, it's air evidentially, Becca. You eat air for two weeks, and then red meat for two weeks, so it all balances out!'

**(**Rebecca shouldn't come to me for dieting tips.**)**

'What I think? I'll tell you what I think. I think you can stick the AIS right up your AISE.'

Rule # 44: Do not make Ahk and/or Attila teach you how to say 'Put your finger through your neck" in Egyptian or …_Hunism._ It sounds like a throat disease and you'll end up lying in the small medbay.

**(**There is a lot throat clearing. I think.**)**

Rule # 45: So soccer may be banned. For the time being.

**(**Yeah this time it wasn't my fault.**)**

**(**More so Attila and his men.**)**

**(**So many windows broken.**)**

Rule # 46: For ever who is doing it … _Stop_ leaving glue in the Hall of Miniatures.

**(**Jedediah gets _cranky_.**)**

**(**Because he doesn't like being manhandled.**) **

Rule # 47: do NOT quote Whose Line is it Anyway

**(**but like I said - we don't follow rules very well.**)**

'Don't mess with the neon love chicken!'

'If you loved me, you'd swallow it.'

**(**I apparently walked in at the wrong part of that conversation**)**

**(**Wonder what Larry and Ahk were talking about?**)**

'Oh, sorry, one of your eyebrows fell off.'

**(**That happens sometimes with the Neanderthals.**)**

'…Now, how do we put the leopard back together?"

**(**Good question…**)**

'I spent all day making those frilly pink uniforms, and I expect you boys to wear them!.'

**(**Pretty sure the Civil War guys didn't like that idea.**)**

'From the time I was born to the time I was died, and then I was reincarnated and came back as this, bowling has been a big part of my life. Sure, it's not really a sport, but it's got great music attached to it!'

**(**That can cause a few odd looks directed at you.**)**

**(**Ahk.**)**

**(**Although. Oddly accurate.**)**

'I love our banter.'

**(**Aw, Amelia**)**

**(**I do too.**)**

**(**Not sure about everyone else though.**)**

'that was beyond crap that it would take a spaceship 15 years to get to a planet close enough to look through a telescope at the crap it was.'

**(**I said that all in one breath.**)**

'Oh yeah it was. Would have been better if your head burst into flames. That would have been neat.'

**(**Jed, stop tormenting Kahmenrah!**)**

**(**That's my job!**)**

Rule # 48: Ahkmenrah shouldn't be near _any_ of the animals.

**(**Especially the Moose.**)**

**(**He loves that Moose for some reason.**)**

**(**Because one time he wanted the Moose to replace his Jackels. But the Moose wandered away.**)**

**(**So he yelled … 'NO! NO! THE MOOSE HAS FAILED ME!**)**

**(**…we don't talk about that night anymore.**)**

Rule # 49: Keeping up With The Kardashian's has been banned.

**(**…My god what have I done.**)**

**(**Ahk has a strange connection with Khole.**)**

Rule # 50: Quotes from Johnny the Homicidal Maniac are incredibly banned.

**(**Which is horrible news.**)**

'WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BACTINE!'

**(**Rebecca was so pissed.**)**

**(**Note to self, no hiding the bactine.**)**

**(**'That woman frightens me.'**)**

**(**She frightens a lot of people AL CAPONE!**)**

'You flaw. At least I'm under the delusion of doing something productive.'

**(**Teddy is getting so defensive.**)**

**(**But kudos to calling the cherubs delusional.**)**

'I've been talking to dead rabbits and feeding bloody walls. I've done horrifying things with salad tongs. It's really eaten into my social life.'

**(**Nick, I'd stop talking if I were you, your father is starting to get creeped out and that takes some doing.**)**

'It's okay! I'm alright! I think my spine has exploded, but I'm fine.'

**(**Ahkmenrah kind of fell over the railing.**)**

'You know that feeling you get? The one where you just know you're going to projectile vomit out of every orifice? I feel that right now. I want you away. Leave me to my vomit.'

**(**I must not arrive at the museum with a hangover.**)**

'HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING FUCKED WITH STELL?'

**(**Wow, Columbus.**)**

**(**It was amazing considering they were his first words in English.**)**

**(**and also because he's made of brass.**)**

'try the stew…it's delicious.'

**(**no thanks Jed…**)**

'Two nights ago, I was taking a walk at night, and this little Chihuahua started following me! GODDAMNIT! IT KNEW! I ran, and finally lost it, and made it home! BUT IT KNEW! IT KNEWWWWW! DID the DOG SEND YOU?'

'So forgive me and shut up.'

**(**Hah! That's my new favourite catch phrase!**)**

'This is worse than goth poetry.'

**(**Information night, school field trips and the odd meeting of new exhibits.**)**

'Moo! Moo! Moooo! I'm voodoo cursing you!'

**(**Ahk…sadly, mooing is not going to curse Khamenrah.**)**

**(**Trust me. I've tried.**)**

**A/N: HI!**

**Thank you so much for all the follows, favourites and reviews! It means a lot to me that you guys are actually liking these rules! Haha Also I am thinking of writing a one shot of the quote where Ahk says that his spine might have exploded. Because I reread that early tonight I almost broke my spleen laughing.**

**Anyway … **_**Sister Daley **_**will be updating soon. I'm not making any promises though, but considering NATM 3 is out online I'll try and see if I can watch it again sometime soon, but I am starting Uni soon sooo.. *shrugs***

**Love you guys sooo much and keep giving me your own rules aswell!**

**xx**

**~JFM~**


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